down to two

Big Sister, Favorite Aunt and Niece #3 left yesterday; now it's just me and Niece #3. We don't have anything particularly exciting planned; she said she just wanted a break from her summer job so we're taking it easy. I think today's big outing is to a local mall - they have a store she likes.

I've been surprised at how much I haven't minded the chaos of people visiting. Usually I get a little twitchy after a few days, a little irritated by the constant presence of someone else in my house, ready to reclaim my own space and routine. Not so this time. The chaos has been manageable (five women and one shower somehow worked out fine) and I've actually enjoyed having a reason to fix food again. Granted, I'm not getting any work done, other than emails and small tasks with deadlines, but I'm hoping the break from it all will benefit my productivity when I start up again next week.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to be terribly lonely when the last niece leaves this weekend.

not a creature was stirring

I have four extra people in my little house right now: Big Sister, Favorite Aunt, Niece #2 and Niece #3. All but N#3 are asleep; she's a night owl like me - we've had a good week together, staying up late to watch movies or read our books - but even she's a little tired after a day of local sightseeing and helping me to fix dinner for everyone.

It's a little strange to have all these people around. My normally quiet and relatively solitary lifestyle has taken a huge hit, and I'll still have N#3 after the other three leave in a few days. Needless to say, I'm getting very little done beyond the basic necessity of answering emails.

I must admit, though, that it's awfully nice to have company that doesn't feel like company. You don't have to worry about "guests" when you can put them to work chopping carrots for your chicken pie.

and then much cursing ensued

I don't particularly enjoy home improvement projects. Sure, there's the satisfaction of a job well done - or just done, in my case, since I rarely know what I'm doing and figuring it out as I go along doesn't always lend itself to anything in well done category. See: the number of spackle-filled holes in my walls and the ability to use a hacksaw to cut through stripped screws.

The obvious answer is to hire someone else to do these things. I do have an all-purpose handyman on my phone list. In the years I've lived here, he's repaired my garbage disposal, replaced rotten posts on my front porch and ground out some tree stumps. Note that these are all things that I cannot do myself (hence the use of a handyman). The issue when I try to hire someone to do things that I could do, if so inclined, is that my perfectionist tendencies make me very unforgiving of mistakes. Like the painting of my bedroom and bathrooms last week; I really couldn't have done those rooms myself, since there are cathedral ceilings involved, and I see nothing but disaster where me + ladders + paint are involved. I do know how to paint a room, however, so I notice the little patches that need touch-up and the drips on the baseboards and the paint specks on the bathtub (the handyman didn't, even when I pointed them out to him, which is why he is very likely to be an ex-handyman in the future).

So tonight's project: hanging new shelves in the bathroom. This is a manageable project, so the proper tools were pulled out of the closet: level, tape measure, screwdriver, drill, stud finder. It wasn't a great deal of fun, with all the measuring and positioning and leveling, but I was managing until I hit a stud that the finder didn't find. The first curse words were uttered as I went for the spackle. Then, as I'm finishing, I discover I can't hang the last shelf because I'm either drilling into studs or what I can only assume are pipes. Insert additional cursing here, as well as copious amounts of spackle, because multiple attempts to relocate my shelf resulted in me tracing the pattern of the pipes behind my wall. I'll paint tomorrow and hang a picture over that particular spot.

It's not that I can't do it, as I explained to N#3, and it's not that I care that much about hanging a shelf. It's that, sometimes, I'm so tired of being the only one around to take care of my problems that I end up swearing at a wall. She thought about that and offered this wise response: "Well, if you had a husband, you'd only yell at him because he wouldn't do it right, like Mom does with Dad." Good point.

In other non-profanity laced moments, N#3 and I are having a lovely time. She's an odd little thing, rather introverted and quiet; then again, she's 14, so find me a kid who isn't odd at that age. It's amazing to see how much she's changed in just the week here, though: talking more, laughing at my stupid jokes, talking to and around my friends, taking an interest in what we watch on TV - like The Daily Show, which was "stupid and boring" when she saw it a few years ago with me but is now funny enough for her to check the Tivo for repeats!

like reliving my childhood

In my long ago youth, I spent a significant portion of my summer being passed from relative to relative. I would go weeks without seeing my own bedroom and I didn't mind it in the least. Some of my visits were to aunts with cousins, as you'd expect, but I spent a good amount of time with my grandmother (mother's mother) and a great aunt on my mom's side. It's interesting to think about those visits now that I'm "hosting" Niece #3.

I don't remember being entertained when I was staying with Grandma or Great Aunt. They didn't stop what they were doing during the day to play with me or take me to amusement parks or buy me toys. They knew I could amuse myself if necessary: Grandma had an attic full of things from my aunts' childhoods and Great Aunt had a dresser stuffed with gloves, scarves and jewelry - I was in heaven.

Usually, though, I helped them with whatever they were doing. Both of them lived on farms, so I collected eggs, fed chickens, brought in wood from the woodpile (because if you have a wood stove and you want to eat, you need wood), dusted, hung clothes on the clothesline, made peanut butter crackers for the cookie jar, helped fix supper for Grandpa and Great Uncle, sat on the front porch and snapped beans. I wasn't slave labor; I did these things right alongside Great Aunt and Grandma - and while I'm sure I had a complaint every now and then, I don't remember minding very much. I also knew that, once the chores were done and the sun had gone down, they would finally sit down for the day. I remember so vividly playing Chinese checkers with Grandma in the front living room while Grandpa snored in the bedroom; I didn't particularly like playing checkers (probably because I always lost!) but I did like sitting there in that pool of light with my grandmother as the clock ticked on the mantel and the night breeze blew in the window.

It's funny to realize I'm replicating my childhood summers with my nieces. They have visited me all through the years in my different locations about the country, and we have certainly done some fun things: museums, national parks, movies, swimming in the pool, book stores (in my family, that's high entertainment). The majority of our time together, though, is pretty normal. They help me clean the house - because, suddenly, with someone else living in it, I finally see the dust on the shelves and the cobwebs in the corner. They help me cook, load the dishwasher and wash the dishes - because with someone else here, I actually fix decent meals and manage to dirty every pot, pan and plate in the kitchen. They help me rearrange my bookshelves, pick out new curtains, shop for groceries. They watch TV shows with me, sit and read on the sofa with me, play board games with me. It isn't exciting stuff but it's what I know to do when they visit.

Like now. N#3 and I haven't done anything terribly exciting, partly because we're still recuperating from that cross-country drive last week. We've been out to eat a few times and gone to a movie; we're planning a visit to a local city later this week to visit some museums and I'm looking for a day trip, too. Mostly, though, we've done normal, every day stuff.

Today, for instance. N#3 is planning to run cross-country this fall, so we went for a run this morning - and by we, I mean she ran and I walked while shouting encouragement (Aunt Me tried running yesterday and hurt herself). I had some work to do, so she worked on her assigned summer reading while I reviewed a paper. We went to a few stores this afternoon, trying to find some shelving for the newly painted bathroom, after dropping my car off at the shop for its much-needed repairs (I have a Chevy HHR from the rental company, which is so not me). Then we went blueberry picking before coming home to fix dinner - including a scrumptious blueberry cobbler - and eat in front of the TV while we watched a movie.

Part of me feels a bit bad about not doing more with N#3. This is her first visit here, so I feel like I should be showing her around, providing more entertainment, keeping her amused. My friends are a little mystified with my "boring" approach, asking me when we're going to "do" something. At the same time, I suppose I'm doing what I know. I have a life and my life doesn't stop just because N#3 is here; I still need to weed the garden, deadhead the flowers, work on the writing, continue the home improvements. It may not be exciting but I think it may be memorable, this spending a week with me and being a part of my life. That's what I remember - and treasure, now that Grandma and Great Aunt have left me here with my memories.

talking through my decorating issues

The difficulty of home improvement is that I can't just do everything all at once. Of course, it probably doesn't help that I don't really have a clear vision in mind whenever and whatever I'm improving - I'm more of a "ponder for a bit, then do something about it" kind of girl - but it would be easier to have a vision if I could just wipe the slate clean and start over. It's hard for me to live in the continuum of old to new, keeping in mind what I hope to end up with in the future when I'm trying to make it livable in the present.

The current conundrum: my guest bathroom - although, since it's the only shower in the house, it's my bathroom when cleanliness is required. It has a lovely new coat of paint now: a bright deep spring-like green. The new paint, however, accentuates the range of colors in a very small room: crappy cream linoleum on the floor, bright white trim, duller white pedestal sink and toilet, black and light cream tiled shower, nickel towel bars and lighting fixture. Naturally, the color that looks best with the new paint is...brown, the only color not already in that room.

I picked up some brown floating shelves and a small rattan chest today, since I need something to make the space manageable for myself and guests, but I can't decide if I should just go with white; it seems like the better option, with all the white already in there, even though I'm not that keen on the white/green mix. It's pretty but a little too...something...for my taste. If it was a pale green, I think I'd like the white, but the dark color looks so nice against the darker wood. I suppose level heads would tell me to live with nothing for a bit and take my time deciding. I've never been very good at that, however; when I start a project, I want it finished. Add to that, I'm going to have a house full of guests next weekend, so I really do need something done.

Down the road, I'd like to replace the pedestal with a cabinet sink in a dark wood and change the flooring to something with a stone look - tile or vinyl, I'm not that picky. I doubt I'll do anything with the black tiles, though; I'm not about to start prying tiles out and there are only a few creating a border, so I don't think they're that troublesome. It's just that I'd have to live with the mismatch for quite a while, since I won't be replacing the flooring or sink anytime soon. I suppose a rug with the brown/green combination would help somewhat...

I'm just not an interior decorator. I can make a space comfortable and have it looking relatively pleasant, but I don't have the creative skills to pull things together on a large scale. Hence the having to repaint rooms in my house only three years after painting them the first time - went for the practical neutral the first time because I didn't have the time or ability to pick random colors from paint chips and hand them over to the painter during the three days I was here buying the house and arranging for renovations. So I'm trying to make changes as I go, with a modicum of success and a host of irritation.

See: taking shelving down in my bedroom today and discovering the excessive use of metal sinkers to hold the things on the wall. In sheetrock. Fantastic. Even as handy as I am with spackle, that is one messed-up wall. Eventually I'd like to put a freestanding bookshelf there - but the emphasis is on the eventually, of course, since I can only do so much renovating and/or decorating this summer.

home is a relative term

My visits to Home Town are always complicated. Even though I look forward to seeing everyone again, there's always a tiny slice of dread in the equation. I can't help but ponder who's going to have a meltdown this time (I'm always a possibility) or what drama will be lurking by the time I arrive or how unpleasant certain family members can possibly make the current visit, encouraging me - yet again - to vacation in a cave.

Not so this time. I was, quite frankly, amazed to realize I had a practically drama-free visit this past week. There was potential for crisis but it was skillfully averted by (1) me stepping out of the equation and (2) letting Older Sister handle it. That wasn't very nice of me, considering my sister's stress level at the time, but she managed it quite well and it kept me far away from any hint of disaster.

The main reason for my visit was my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. Yes, you read that correctly: fifty years. Rather mind-boggling, actually, to consider that two people have managed to weather all the ups and downs of life for the last half century and stay together in the process. I know enough to know it hasn't always been easy for them but, oh, how I admire them for their belief that they were in it together and no one was leaving because they stood up in a church and made a vow. I think that mindset is a thing of the past - as it should be, in many cases - but I do admire the strength of will necessary to create a strong marriage, a good home and a decent family.

We had a pleasant family celebration of 40+ people at a lovely location in Home Town (with delicious food). It was sweet to see my parents enjoying themselves as the center of attention - and they certainly deserved it. My folks are Southern salt-of-the-earth types (how they ended up with me, no one's quite sure) so they don't aspire to the "dress up and eat with multiple forks" things in life; being able to provide that really marked the occasion as something special, something important, something worthy of numerous pieces of silverware. And there was cake, too!

Other than the big event, my visit was the usual bout of running around to see people. I managed to squeeze in time with a college friend, longtime girlfriends and high school friends - including one I haven't seen in 10 years - as well as the family. I stayed an extra day to spend some quality time with Adorable Nephew; we went to a local child-friendly place for the afternoon and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Next year, I'll be doing the same with Newest Niece, but at almost a year old now, our quality time is mostly spent with her giving me serious looks to determine just who I am and why I'm hanging around.

I hate to admit it but having a pleasant visit made me wonder if I want to try to move back. It's not that easy, of course, and it wouldn't happen anytime soon, if ever, but it's a stronger possibility now than before. Home Town has really grown, to the point that there are some really nice places to live and some great places to eat and play. I have a good group of friends there who are cemented in my life; the recent friendship implosion here made me realize just how tenuous my current friendships are, simply because there's a different basis for the relationships. And I have my family; crazy though they are at times, they do provide a foundation that I don't have in my life here.

Ahh, it's a non-issue at the moment. I can think about it all I want but, in the current climate, academic positions are going to be few and far between. And I am truly doing my best to make my home here in PRU City. Doing some home improvements - in the way of fantastic new paint colors - recently may not seem like much but, to me, it's an investment in my long-term life in the house. Even buying a new shelf and credenza for the guest bathroom today seems like a tiny signal that I'm doing my best to make this place a home (alas, no luck on the curtains but at least N#3 has a place to put her toothbrush now).

home!

We made it back to PRU City late last night, unpacked the car and enjoyed a very late sleep-in today. "We" is not my multiple personalities (this time) but one of me and Niece #3, who is keeping me company for the next week or so until her mom comes out to trade her for N#2.

Fun will be had, I'm sure, but today's fun needs to consist of laundry, grocery shopping and Target purchasing - because you don't realize you need curtains in the guest room until you have a guest in it.

Visit to Home Town was - for once - delightful, but discussion of good times will need to wait until a 14-year-old isn't looking at me with that particular mixture of "I'm already bored" and "we're going to do something, right?" on her face.

let the travels commence

My early start didn't materialize - it never does - so I'm just now getting ready to leave for my very long drive to Home State. Here's hoping all goes well!